What to say after tragedy

I don't want to criticize the author of this too much, but much of what he writes is not helpful probably the first week of the tragedy. But if you have not lost a child in a violent terrible way, you probably can't contextualize it properly. I can tell you the first week is just utter grief and struggling with how you as a parent could ever move on. Scripture is somewhat helpful, but the grief is overbearing at the exclusion of all else. What you need is to surround yourself with trusted friends around the clock to just cry and talk. Talking about how God is in control is not helpful in the rawness of the moment. There will be a time for that, but the day of and the first week or so, it is probably not something you should inundate the parent with too much. It is almost impossible to even pray during the first few days. And that is fine. To be honest, there is not much you can say unless you have been through it, it is impossible to comprehend what the parent is going through. In fact, be prepared for people (good Christian people) to say, inadvertenly some of the most terrible things. They may be thinking that they are saying the right thing, but in the end it comes up painful.