Why pro-lifers keep losing and what to do about it

There is a point as well where I would say that we're losing because we're demanding too much. People need to be persuaded that the world will not fall in when meaningful restrictions are enacted, and to do that, you've got to think smaller. Overall ban? Too much. What about reduction/elimination in funding to Planned Parenthood? "Why should pro-life people be forced to pay for this?"

The abortion issue has always been portrayed as "freedom" and "rights" issues. Those are difficult to argue against.

Having taken ethics classes in a liberal Catholic context (Villa Nova), even people who have been informed by Christian ethics in general can't get past the sense of, "I can't believe that God would want me to be unhappy...." which translates to, "If I have this baby, I will have to put my plans and life on hold, and that will make me unhappy..." And despite all they know to the contrary, that "argument" carries the day in their hearts. Set aside the fact that the majority of people wanting an abortion have conceived the child outside the family structure that God intended, and so the pressure of raising a child without a supportive father, grandparents, etc. is indeed much more than a married mother would face.

The "I can't believe that God would want me to be unhappy...." argument is part of the freedom and rights arguments.

....for me, the issue is one of will, because what's really going on is that someone will not accept certain realities. Really, the old proverb "your right to swing your arm around ends where my nose begins" comes to mind, and the trick is to convince the other person that it is indeed your nose, so to speak, and not their own.

"what's really going on is that someone will not accept certain realities." - Part of the freedom argument: "I am free to make my own reality regardless of what anyone else believes." Watch carefully the Kamala Harris campaign - strong emphasis on freedom and rights.