Churches unhappy with pastors should look in the mirror, consultants say

I would agree that a lot of churches (some of which I’ve been a member of) are toxic in their membership, but it strikes me that part of the pastor’s job is, after all, to help the members reconcile in difficult situations, admonish those who are sinning (abusive approach sure counts), and the like. For example, Doug Wilson’s letter to an angry husband is a great example of what might be done.

That said, I would suggest that an abusive approach is generally a confession of a deficient theology. One may mouth all the right phrases, but underneath is a rot that tends to be some anti-Biblical position like legalism, “let’s be big”-ism, “evangelical” feminism, and the like. The trick is to slow down and listen long enough to find that rot.