Admitting affair, Tullian Tchividjian resigns as pastor of Coral Ridge Presbyterian

I gather from these reports he took solace after his wife’s affair with a female friend. That’s just plain foolish. Take warning, brothers.

It would be tempting to blame this on his theology of sanctification and Christian living in general—if it weren’t for the fact that so many who preach discipline and struggle have strayed into the same sins. There is probably not a lesson to learn here on that particular point.

I hope for a season of healing and “rebooting” in his life.

….it strikes me that perhaps he should have stepped down when he learned of his wife’s affair a few months back. Isn’t the wife of the pastor supposed to exhibit the same basic character as the pastor? I notice that she specifically noted that she is not united with her husband in her view of this tragedy….there is a lot of stuff here that indicates that family life hasn’t been good in that house for a long time.

It also strikes me that perhaps it is very unhealthy for a man to become the “wandering celebrity” as have so many pastors of large churches—seems to give opportunity for the man to become the “celebrity errant” in more ways than in his travel schedule. Perhaps we’ve got to take seriously the idea that it is Christ’s name that must be exalted, not our own.

I have seen this sad scene occur many times in the last 40 years. The sin is not confined to particular denominations, doctrinal positions, or pastoral situations. It has happened in big churches and small, to fundamentalists and non-fundamentalists, and to Calvinists and less than Calvinists.

There are some common attributes:

Confession and repentance when confronted and not before (I know of only one exception in which a pastor was inappropriate with another woman on Thursday, met with his deacons on Friday, resigned, moved out of the parsonage on Saturday and stood before the church for discipline on Sunday.)

Excuses accompanying confession (BTW, the “other woman” is not to be blamed!)

In practice, ministry was more important than family

Pride and enjoying attention

Watch yourselves!

[Wayne Wilson]

I gather from these reports he took solace after his wife’s affair with a female friend.

Wayne, has this been reported publicly? Do you have a link?

Julie Anne, I think TT’s solace was with the female friend, not the affair of his wife.

Ah, I now see what you mean. The prepositional phrases would have been more accurately positioned like this:

I gather from these reports he took solace with a female friend after his wife’s affair.

What a difference that makes!

[Julie Anne]

What a difference that makes!

Yes, that is much more clear!!

I don’t understand why it was necessary to bring up what his wife had done in his confession.

[Jonathan Charles]

I don’t understand why it was necessary to bring up what his wife had done in his confession.

Because it gives him an excuse. It implies that she contributed to his sin. “The woman you gave me…..”

[Ron Bean]

…

There are some common attributes:

Confession and repentance when confronted and not before (I know of only one exception in which a pastor was inappropriate with another woman on Thursday, met with his deacons on Friday, resigned, moved out of the parsonage on Saturday and stood before the church for discipline on Sunday.)

…

I’ve heard this line of reasoning, questioning motive for many years. Frankly, I don’t find it carries much water scripturally. The confrontation of sin in the erring brother is a very valid, biblical methodology to lead to repentance and restoration. There is nothing that I have found in Scripture that indicates preemptory repentance is a better repentance than is repentance upon confrontation/knowledge. “If we confess our sin he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” Biblical confession is the key; the catalyst for bringing about that confession is apparently irrelevant.

[Jonathan Charles]

I don’t understand why it was necessary to bring up what his wife had done in his confession.

It wasn’t. Someone truly repentant would take full responsibility for their sins without mentioning anyone who “contributed.” This is why it’s so important to look closely at public confessions. If this information came from someone else, that would be another story. Another key detail is that he did not come forward until his elders asked him directly. How long would it have taken for him to acknowledge his sins? One more point that I have not seen is what is his current relationship status with the women with whom he had an adulterous affair?

[Julie Anne]

Another key detail is that he did not come forward until [Nathan confronted] him directly. How long would it have taken for him to acknowledge his sins?

He did write Psalm 51, though. Maybe he didn’t really mean it?

[Don Johnson]

He did write Psalm 51, though. Maybe he didn’t really mean it?

It’s too soon; time will tell.