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Tribalism

“In any case, the person you think is ‘playing politics’ may actually be trying to show respect to friendships he’s had for forty years. At least consider this option before you blast away.” - Mark Ward

Discussion

Thu, 07/07/22

The insight from DeYoung is that your relationships shrink your quantity of comfortable targets for public criticism. There’s a kind of unwritten rule in friendships—and by extension, groups you feel strongly connected with/identified with—that you don’t criticize them publicly or take controversies that feel sort of like family matters out into public view.

So the fewer friends you have, the more people you feel free to recklessly sling mud at. By the same token the more friends you have, the fewer people your personal loyalties allow you publicly rail against… or publicly criticize at all, even respectfully.

It’s a fascinating perspective because I hadn’t tought of ‘tribalism’ as having an upside. But it does. The bad is, Us vs Them thinking leads to sloppy and dehumanizing verbal warfare against Them. But the upside is that you slow down and give your friends a chance to be right or at least be worthy of respect.

I think we really need to transcend both of those though.

And broaden our friendships!

Views expressed are always my own and not my employer's, my church's, my family's, my neighbors', or my pets'. The house plants have authorized me to speak for them, however, and they always agree with me.