Can a Christian Family Ever Be Too Big?

Between a husband and wife

“Too big” is rather subjective — for me 3 kids would be “too big”.

When shopping for a used car, you look for a school bus! Too big! And all you can afford is the 1936 model! Too big!

Then that explains it.

The biggest form of transport I have ever owned was a 1974 Ford Galaxie 500 — and I was single at the time (and stayed single for a looong time - that was one ugly car).

With a family, my biggest family car was a 1990 Geo Prizm (GM’s version of the Corolla).

There must be a link between car size and birth control, i.e., family size…

… but, Jim:

Is that really you!?

[TylerR]

… but, Jim:

Is that really you!?

(My Mother, Sister, and me)

I’m surprised to not see a large and heated discussion taking place.
I will admit that it’s been about five years since I was last on SI for a discussion on this matter, but I find it hard to think that the same people being here this hasn’t turned into another large discussion.

Yes, I do think that there is a limit on how large a family should be.
I don’t think there is some set number for every case, but a number that should be based on the capabilities and situations of the Christian household in question.
I know families that can and have supported a large number of children successfully and brought them up well both naturally and spiritually. I’ve also seen families that have had more children then the parents were capable of raising properly or even giving the necessities of life without major difficulty.

Would you say that an unemployed father and a stay-at-home mother should keep producing more children with no thought for the fact that they struggle to feed, clothe, and house the ones they already have? That sounds like “tempting the LORD” to me.

[Matthew Eastland]

I’m surprised to not see a large and heated discussion taking place.

…

Yes, I do think that there is a limit on how large a family should be.

I don’t think there is some set number for every case, but a number that should be based on the capabilities and situations of the Christian household in question.

My point above when I said “Not my business - Between a husband and wife” is that who should “some set number”?

Churches don’t take a position on this issue because it is so personal and private. There’s a reason why churches wouldn’t excommunicate someone for too few or two many! (Actually too many could be a tremendous blessing to a small church!)

Kevin Supra (father of 15) will weigh in for sure. But even his church doesn’t have a rule.

–—

Update: Our number was “3”

Certainly it is an issue to be decided by the family in question and based on their consciences, but we should always be able to supply the proper biblical principles to be able to help those looking for guidance and to make informed decisions for ourselves.

I have met multiple people that have attempted to lobby my church in order to make it an issue of separation. There is a strong lobby out there that declares that birth control is wrong and wants to eliminate it within the Christian community.
The fact of the matter is that it is an issue of Christian liberty and those that wish to enforce their particular viewpoint on others could be considered to be causing sedition and discord within a congregation by doing so.

So, in the end it is beholden on us to be able to give a sound and scriptural reply to those around us.

Our current number is one, but we intend to have more.

I was struck by the paucity of Bible-based reasoning in the quoted comments. How can a Christian leader expect to provide a useful answer to this question without beginning with God’s revelation?

But isn’t that the point? The Bible teaches that those issue which are not required or forbidden in Scripture are in the realm of Christian liberty. Each Christian must decide for himself, and others must respect his decision. Why should anyone presume to tell another how many children they ought to have?

[G. N. Barkman]

But isn’t that the point? The Bible teaches that those issue which are not required or forbidden in Scripture are in the realm of Christian liberty. Each Christian must decide for himself, and others must respect his decision. Why should anyone presume to tell another how many children they ought to have?

The fact of the matter is that people do try to force this on others and many don’t consider this a matter of Christian liberty.
Maybe others here haven’t seen the war that is being waged by some on this matter, but I guarantee you that it’s out there.

There is a decently sized and well-organized movement that focuses on trying to claim that birth control is wrong and that Christians should have no part in it.
I have watched a minister being assaulted (yes, it’s a harsh word, but I can’t think of one that applies better) by people in said movement. They take up massive amounts of time, undermine the authority of those disagreeing, and cause dissent and anger in congregations.

With the fact that a battle is being fought out there, and that those pursuing said agenda try to use scripture to prove that they are right and those using birth control are acting in sin; it is beholden on others to be prepared with the word of God to show how it is a matter of liberty. That means having open discussion on the matter and presenting passages to demonstrate the point.

I honestly had no idea this was an issue. Give us some more info. Like Bro. Barkman, I am in the dark on this controversy. You obviously have some experience with this matter.

There are times when I think ‘discerning God’s will’ is code for ‘not engaging my brain’. Sometimes it really is OK to use our God-given common sense to make prudent decisions, especially where we have principles but not a mandate. I don’t believe that God ‘tells’ people how many kids to have. How does He do that? A strong feeling? A sign? How is a family ‘called’ to have a bunch of kids, a few kids, or no kids?

As for folks who are rabid quiverfull types, there are some battles that one can become involved in that distract from the Gospel. IOW, time spent reasoning with unreasonable people is time away from helping folks who are looking for truth and contending for the faith.

I also think that this discussion inevitably and quickly ends up in very private territory. For instance, when telling someone our children’s ages, there is an 8 year gap between our oldest and our secondborn. Sometimes people ask why there is a gap. There are some very personal issues in that gap that I don’t feel compelled to share, that have nothing to do with spirituality and everything to do with “It ain’t nobody’s business” why there is a gap.

And how does one even begin to discuss reproductive issues without delving into sexuality? It’s a topic that should be reserved for husband/wife and spiritually mature mentors who are qualified to counsel couples who want or need advice. The last place anyone should look for a role model of ANY kind is television. Oy vey.

Ummmm Cheetos ….