"There is no such thing as adoption without suffering"

My wife and I recently adopted from China ourselves. We prepared ourselves for the worst mentally and I think it saved us from having a romanticized view. On the other hand, we know two families close to us who did not and their adoption has been much harder because of it.

I’ve lost track of how many adopted children we have in our church family, but they are many, ranging in age from a few months to nearing thirty. These adoptions have taken place over more than twenty-five years, but most within the past six or eight.

I can tell you that many adopted children prove to be extra, extra challenging. There are reasons why they were placed for adoption, and domestic adoptions seem to involve more physical and mental problems than international.

I don’t know a single family that would say they wish they had not adopted! All accept their children as God’s gracious gift. But yes, yes, yes, please do not romanticize adoption! It is a wonderful act of sacrificial service to those who are most needy. I can scarcely think of anything that more greatly displays a Christ-like spirit. Adoption is truly Christian love in shoe leather. But it may prove to be the most challenging decision of a lifetime. As always, God’s grace is sufficient.

As an adoptive father, I would add, that romanticized parenting in general is a pretty dangerous idea. As someone said, “parenting isn’t for cowards” and these are tough days to be a parent – or a kid. It takes a lot of grace, consistency, patience, love and reasonable expectations to be an effective parent whether your kids are adoptive or bio.

Smile