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Animal Control Corrals Cage‐Stage Calvinist After Biting Incident

By TylerR on Fri, 09/22/17
Christian Living
Calvinism
Satire
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Babylon Bee: Scoover’s parents told reporters that his Cage Stage symptoms started surfacing recently after he began to see the full extent of God’s sovereignty over everything, including salvation, and he undertook reading Reformed authors like R.C. Sproul, John Piper, John MacArthur, and a shadowy group of figures known as “the Westminster Divines.”

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… not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing.

(NKJV, 1 Peter 3:9)

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