This is a satire site. The filings item from this morning about Creflo Dollar asking for funds for a ministry spaceship is another piece of satire from this site.
Tyler is a pastor in Olympia, WA and works in State government.
Sadly, I’ve been in some Baptist churches where raised hands are (or would be) met with raised eyebrows, with the perpetrator at risk of getting the bum’s rush from the nearest usher. (That doesn’t & will never happen at my church, and I say that as an usher captain…) =)
“And Ezra blessed the Lord, the great God, and all the people answered, “Amen, Amen,” lifting up their hands. And they bowed their heads and worshiped the Lord with their faces to the ground.” (Nehemiah 8:6 ESV)
“Then Solomon stood before the altar of the Lord in the presence of all the assembly of Israel and spread out his hands toward heaven,” (1 Kings 8:22)
“Now as Solomon finished offering all this prayer and plea to the Lord, he arose from before the altar of the Lord, where he had knelt with hands outstretched toward heaven.” (1 Kings 8:54 ESV)
“Hear the voice of my pleas for mercy, when I cry to you for help, when I lift up my hands toward your most holy sanctuary.” (Psalm 28:2 ESV)
“And at the evening sacrifice I rose from my fasting, with my garment and my cloak torn, and fell upon my knees and spread out my hands to the Lord my God,” (Ezra 9:5 ESV)
“I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands…;” (1 Timothy 2:8 ESV)
What makes satire believable is that it’s predicated on truth … I can see Saint Piper marketing a line of pipes, and a hoard of slobbering, starry-eyed young Pastors lining up to purchase them by the caseload. I can also see Creflo Dollar raising funds for a spaceship because God wants his ministry to have a “galactic” reach.
Caveat - I always refer to Saint Piper as “Saint Piper” because of the pathetic way younger Pastors and naive Seminarians often cling to his every word like bees to a honeypot.
Tyler is a pastor in Olympia, WA and works in State government.
What makes satire believable is that it’s predicated on truth … I can see Saint Piper marketing a line of pipes, and a hoard of slobbering, starry-eyed young Pastors lining up to purchase them by the caseload.
“I think it is a sin to smoke, in general, because of the scientific studies that have come out today. Maybe once upon a time, when we didn’t know any better, it wouldn’t have been a sin. But now that we know how destructive it is and we see its deadly effects printed right on the side of the carton, it seems really strange to me that Christians would embrace it.
Habitually smoking cigarettes seems to say, “Life doesn’t matter as much as my pleasures do.” And the fact that it is highly addictive should also encourage Christians to keep their distance.
Are there other things that, because of their similar nature, would classify as sin? I think so.
Paul said, “I will not be enslaved by anything” (1 Corinthians 6:12). That means caffeine, food, nicotine, or crack. I’m not going to be enslaved by anything. I want my mind and my body to be alert, supple, responsive, and ready to follow and obey Jesus.”
Ron Bean, I must live on a different planet than you. What actually happens is often more bizzare and unbelievable than satire. Who would have thought a prof at Wheaton College would advocate for Islam? Or that the president of the NAE would be involved in gay sex? Or that Oral Roberts would have a vision to build a giant statue of Jesus? Or that the president of the ETS would convert to Catholicism? Or that most evangelicals would support Trump? Or that John Stott would deny a literal hell? Or that the new reformed movement would advocate discussing theology over beers? Or that an evangelical pastor would be known as the “swearing pastor?” Or that Andy Stanley would insult thousands of small evangelical churches. The evangelical and (more broadly) Christian world has gone mad. I can’t see why you can’t see.
The Wittenburg Door, sometimes known as simply The Door, was a Christian satire and humor magazine, published bimonthly by the non-profit Trinity Foundation based in Dallas, Texas. The magazine started publication in 1971 and ceased publication in 2008.
Since about 2008, the Door website, like the rest of the country, has been out of a job.
We know what it’s like, waiting in those labor pool lines on the corner in the blistering sun, hoping we’ll get chosen, scrambling for spare change to help pay for server hosting. Helplessly watching spam messages pile up in the comments section.
We were finally forced to collect our jokes, photos, videos and other claptrap and transfer to a cheaper host, one with a single, bare lightbulb over the sink. It’s hard to be funny in this environment, so we’re just leaving everything as-is — a static site in which many of the bells and whistles don’t work. Yes, you can still buy something at the Door Store. No, you can’t leave a comment.
Day 6 So I was loading up the last of the animals last week when I walk past my neighbor Roger, the Molech-worshipper. He looks up and says “Hey, looks like rain.”
True story.
Day 7 Now wondering if it was wrong to have borrowed Roger’s hedge clippers.
Ms. Wisteria was modeling this bold, skimpy design for me in her expansive and well appointed office in Kansas City. But the room now suddenly grew stuffy and claustrophobic, thick with the heaviness of desire. “You might think it’s inspired by some kind of ‘S&M’ hanky-panky, but really it’s patterned after garments that were worn by Middle Eastern goat herders during late antiquity. Surprised?”
Idiocy has made its appearances in fundamentalism as well. Various persons have gathered followers by hanging the sin label on clothing styles, cartoon characters, food (white sugar and bleached flour), mixing the races, and Bible translations; making us prime targets for satirists.
And thanks to Jim and Larry for putting a smile on my satire loving face.
"Some things are of that nature as to make one's fancy chuckle, while his heart doth ache." John Bunyan
Discussion
NewFads
Piper could start such a fad… the way Christians imitate their leaders nowadays! One fad after another.
"The Midrash Detective"
NewSatire
Ed:
This is a satire site. The filings item from this morning about Creflo Dollar asking for funds for a ministry spaceship is another piece of satire from this site.
Tyler is a pastor in Olympia, WA and works in State government.
NewFrom the Same Source (?)
http://babylonbee.com/news/retired-sniper-finds-work-picking-off-hand-raisers-baptist-church/
"Some things are of that nature as to make one's fancy chuckle, while his heart doth ache." John Bunyan
NewIs Satire Hard for Us to Get?
Why is it that sometimes we fundamentalists have a hard time seeing satire?
"Some things are of that nature as to make one's fancy chuckle, while his heart doth ache." John Bunyan
NewNow that's just funny!:
Sadly, I’ve been in some Baptist churches where raised hands are (or would be) met with raised eyebrows, with the perpetrator at risk of getting the bum’s rush from the nearest usher. (That doesn’t & will never happen at my church, and I say that as an usher captain…) =)
“And Ezra blessed the Lord, the great God, and all the people answered, “Amen, Amen,” lifting up their hands. And they bowed their heads and worshiped the Lord with their faces to the ground.” (Nehemiah 8:6 ESV)
“Then Solomon stood before the altar of the Lord in the presence of all the assembly of Israel and spread out his hands toward heaven,” (1 Kings 8:22)
“Now as Solomon finished offering all this prayer and plea to the Lord, he arose from before the altar of the Lord, where he had knelt with hands outstretched toward heaven.” (1 Kings 8:54 ESV)
“Hear the voice of my pleas for mercy, when I cry to you for help, when I lift up my hands toward your most holy sanctuary.” (Psalm 28:2 ESV)
“And at the evening sacrifice I rose from my fasting, with my garment and my cloak torn, and fell upon my knees and spread out my hands to the Lord my God,” (Ezra 9:5 ESV)
“I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands…;” (1 Timothy 2:8 ESV)
Etc………..
NewIf I was at a church and I raised my hand to praise God
and the usher told me to stop or leave, I would GLADLY leave that graveyard.
NewKernel of Truth
What makes satire believable is that it’s predicated on truth … I can see Saint Piper marketing a line of pipes, and a hoard of slobbering, starry-eyed young Pastors lining up to purchase them by the caseload. I can also see Creflo Dollar raising funds for a spaceship because God wants his ministry to have a “galactic” reach.
Caveat - I always refer to Saint Piper as “Saint Piper” because of the pathetic way younger Pastors and naive Seminarians often cling to his every word like bees to a honeypot.
Tyler is a pastor in Olympia, WA and works in State government.
NewWell...here's an actual Piper quote about smoking...
“I think it is a sin to smoke, in general, because of the scientific studies that have come out today. Maybe once upon a time, when we didn’t know any better, it wouldn’t have been a sin. But now that we know how destructive it is and we see its deadly effects printed right on the side of the carton, it seems really strange to me that Christians would embrace it.
Habitually smoking cigarettes seems to say, “Life doesn’t matter as much as my pleasures do.” And the fact that it is highly addictive should also encourage Christians to keep their distance.
Are there other things that, because of their similar nature, would classify as sin? I think so.
Paul said, “I will not be enslaved by anything” (1 Corinthians 6:12). That means caffeine, food, nicotine, or crack. I’m not going to be enslaved by anything. I want my mind and my body to be alert, supple, responsive, and ready to follow and obey Jesus.”
http://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/is-it-a-sin-to-smoke-or-eat-junk-…
NewYep
Jesus “raised His hands” for me; I should be able to choose to raise my hands in worship and praise to Him.
NewBecause so much idiocy reigns
Ron Bean, I must live on a different planet than you. What actually happens is often more bizzare and unbelievable than satire. Who would have thought a prof at Wheaton College would advocate for Islam? Or that the president of the NAE would be involved in gay sex? Or that Oral Roberts would have a vision to build a giant statue of Jesus? Or that the president of the ETS would convert to Catholicism? Or that most evangelicals would support Trump? Or that John Stott would deny a literal hell? Or that the new reformed movement would advocate discussing theology over beers? Or that an evangelical pastor would be known as the “swearing pastor?” Or that Andy Stanley would insult thousands of small evangelical churches. The evangelical and (more broadly) Christian world has gone mad. I can’t see why you can’t see.
"The Midrash Detective"
NewRemember "The Wittenburg Door"
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Wittenburg_Door
Has an online archive: http://www.wittenburgdoor.com/
Samples:
Noah’s blog
Victorious Secret: Lingerie for Overcomers
Twitter
Jim's Doctrinal Statement
NewThere are examples of satire in the OT
See JETs March 2007
Twitter
Jim's Doctrinal Statement
NewThen there was "Eutychus and His Kin" & "Eutychus X"
Eutychus and His Kin by Edmund Clowney
Eutychus X by Warren W. Wiersbe Sample: In Praise of Premise Keepers
Twitter
Jim's Doctrinal Statement
NewThen there's the Lutheran Satire:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQLfgaUoQCw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0d4FHHf00pY
(These are done by a Lutheran Church - Missouri Synod pastor.)
NewIdiocy
Idiocy has made its appearances in fundamentalism as well. Various persons have gathered followers by hanging the sin label on clothing styles, cartoon characters, food (white sugar and bleached flour), mixing the races, and Bible translations; making us prime targets for satirists.
And thanks to Jim and Larry for putting a smile on my satire loving face.
"Some things are of that nature as to make one's fancy chuckle, while his heart doth ache." John Bunyan